Category: Thoughts

A Saturday Night Memory

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

Saturday Evening. We spent the day inside, victims to the contest raging between heat and humidity: which would make Kansas City least livable today. Frustrated, I blurted out, “Let’s go someplace, do something.” Christine was game but asked what and where. “How about the Uptown Lounge again?” It was all that I could come up with.

We were there for the first time two days ago with our dear friends Charlie and Mary Murphy, enjoying the Richard Haitbrink Quartet, with vocalist Nancy Wallingford. They entertained us with jazz and blues from “The Great American Songbook”. Nancy reads and occasionally comments on these posts. (Hi Nancy!)

Two decades ago we were in this space to listen to our daughter Alexis’ then boyfriend and his band. Then it was Davey’s Uptown, a venue well suited to garage bands, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and a level of sanitary neglect that gave footsteps a sound not unlike Velcro pulling apart. The Uptown Lounge was nothing like its predecessor.

I drove, negotiating Main Street which is currently a confusion of barriers, orange traffic cones, and shifting lanes as Kansas City extends its Trolly Line south. I envision that the road’s many open chasms must “collect” overnight impaired drivers like insects sticking to flypaper.

As we entered the Uptown Lounge we left the noise, dust, heat, and humidity of the city at the door. “Our table” was waiting for us. I feel qualified to call it that since we were now repeat customers.

The Uptown Lounge is softly lit and has a pure but understated elegance that welcomes sport coats and evening dresses with the same comfortable familiarity as shorts and polo shirts. Tonight’s entertainment was courtesy of owner Alan Stribling at the grand piano with occasional solos and vocal accompaniments by bartender Vonne Whittman.

His voice is like soft oiled leather while he slowly sways at the keys, a human metronome. Whittman wears an unobtrusive headset that picks up her vocals, broadcasting them through the sound system is such a way that an uninformed patron is left to wonder where the singer is hiding. Whitman simultaneously sings and performs her bartenderly duties without diminishing her expertise in either calling.

Into the first of two martinis, I am teleported in this carefree moment to carefree times long past by Billy Joal, Elton John, and James Taylor:

“It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in…”

“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide…”

“Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone. Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you…”

Alan later asks if there are any requests. “Color My World” by Chicago, I reply.

“Great song… I’ll give it a try.”

In a very rare moment for me I ask (really, I insisted) Christine to dance with me. We are the only patrons to do so and Christine is a bit self-conscious. Thanks to my martini, I’m not. In a few moments Christine asks if I am tearing up. “No… well maybe a little.” 47 years ago this was our wedding song. I could not have imagined then how the song would foretell now:

“As time goes on, I realize just what you mean to me. And now, now that you’re near promise your love that I’ve waited to share. And dreams of our moments together. Color my world with hope of loving you…”

After we returned to “our table” Christine remarked that a few pre-COVID years ago Alan had been performing at another piano bar and that I had made the same request. She was right, and now I remember that things played out in much the same déjà vu way. (Was it a martini or a manhattan then?)

An hour and a half into the evening and half through my second martini I see a familiar face enter the Lounge. It’s Ann Adams Fay and her partner. They join us and as it turns out they have been talking about walking the Camino. Coincidence?… A gentleman in Puerto Rico who had walked the Camino once told me, “Peter, in life there are no coincidences.”

Two hours gone and my second martini finished we bid farewell to our friends and the Uptown Lounge. Christine had been filling up on free soda water as she was the “DD” for the evening… “designated driver” (“designated darling” to me).

Driving home she skipped a return on Main Street in favor of a more serpentine and tree lined route. As we drew nearer to our home a thought came to mind. We were a few blocks from Winstead’s, a 1950’s era hamburger restaurant that we had not visited together since our children were young. Back then we could occasionally afford buying them each a Winstead’s “Tiny-Tot-Treat”, a mini-hamburger, small fries and child-size malt.

“Are you hungry?” She was. “Do you want to dine or just eat?” There was a pause and Christine then offered “Eat. What do you think of Winstead’s?” Synchronicity such as this is the byproduct of nearly a half-century together.

Christine had a double burger with tater-tots, I had two singles and fries. We split a chocolate malt. Twenty-one dollars plus tip. Not dining, but much better than just eating. Then it was home.

As Christine’s father, Bill Nichols, drew nearer to his 100th birthday (he almost made it to 102) he often told the same stories from his life. He would tell anyone willing to listen. It didn’t matter that the listener had heard the stories before, Bill would tell them over and over again. It was easy to ascribe his repetition to age related memory lapses. It now occurs to me that Bill did not tell his tales for the benefit of the listener, but rather so that he could relive those moments that were dear to him.

Perhaps that is why I am telling you about this Saturday night.

Peace Everyone. Pete

 

Grandalf the Wise

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

Dear Christine, Renee, Friends and Followers.

My intention has been to take the posts and photographs of our journey in Spain and render them into a book to give to Britton. I don’t believe the book would be complete without some “Grandfatherly” advice:

Dear Britton.

It has been a little more than a week since we returned to Kansas City from Spain, and today was your first football practice. The rest of the team has been practicing while you were gone. You feared they would be mad at you for “skipping out”. Against your wishes, your mom made you go.

As we predicted, you were enthusiastically welcomed by your coaches and teammates. You also “kicked ass” at the team drills and sprints. After I learned of all this, I sent you a text, “Hey Mr. B. I understand you were greeted by your coach and team as the conquering hero returned from Spain! Congratulations… it’s what I predicted. Love, Grandpa.”

“Love you too. I didn’t think it would turn out like that.” was your reply. To which I then added, “With age comes wisdom!”

Finally, you exclaimed: “Okay Gandalf!!” and followed with a couple of smiley faces.

I will take this exchange as my license to speak to you as your very own “Grandalf”.

I don’t know whether you will be reading this at age 15, 25, 50 or beyond. I don’t know whether you will be sharing it with your child or grandchild. As I write this at age 72, I am mindful that these words and the telling in this book of our adventure together in Spain will long outlive me. I hope that the power of my advice does too.

You are an amazing person. Kind, thoughtful, caring, and so very capable of anything you put your mind to. (Here you must say “Thank you”. Remember, every compliment is a gift!) You also tend to be unsure of yourself, presuming others won’t think you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough… Britton, you ARE good enough, strong enough, smart enough! Do not let your insecurity become a self-fulfilling prophecy. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!! I believe in you, your Grandmother believes in you, your Mom believes in you, as does anyone who knows you.

Britton, don’t be seduced into believing that adventure is what someone else experiences and then posts on social media. You are fresh back from a REAL adventure, not one made up for video courtesy of big financial sponsors and a huge support crew hidden in the background. It is also not your first adventure that I have witnessed: I watched with tears of pride as your Lacross team descend upon you at the end of the season’s final game. “Brick Wall Benscoter!” they called out… a team that had not won a game until you took the post of goalie in the last 5 games, winning 4 out of 5 of those matches! That’s a REAL adventure.

Opportunities present themselves, often when we least expect them. It is you who must recognize them and act upon them, seizing opportunity and creating your own adventures. I know this because it is how my life has played out.

Adventure is not only hair raising, adrenaline pumping, edge of your seat excitement. Adventure can be the challenge of doing well on a test, achieving a goal at work, getting recognition for a job well done, or even having an attractive “someone” agree to go out with you on a date.

Often, what you want is located on the other side of things you don’t like. You have spoken of several ambitions that you hold. Just as often you have mentioned some things that you don’t particularly like, such as reading, studying, and commitments to long term educational programs. To achieve your goals you will need to embrace and power through some of those things you don’t like. You may find that once you aggressively tackle what you don’t like, your success will bring with it a liking for that thing. This too is “adventure”, the adventure of discovering what you are capable of.

Over 30 years ago I decided that I would never leave unsaid what I considered the most important advice to my children. You have heard me speak these words countess times. I will repeat them here as my final offering to you:

Have Fun. Because life and your pursuit of it should be fun.

Do Good. (Two things) Do what is right, and Do your best.

and Be Safe for the sake of those who love you… as I do.

Peace Britton, Grandpa. (aka, Grandalf the Wise!)

 

Home!

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

Dear Friends and Followers.

On June 29th, after a grueling travel day, Britton and I landed in Kansas City and fell into the embraces of Christine, Renee’ and Britton’s siblings. It is quite possible that this one day was the highlight of Britton’s trip.

We flew First Class aboard Air France, as a Delta Airline partner, from Barcellona to Paris. Although seating was 3 seats on each side of the isle throughout the plane, in the small allocated “First-Class” section the center seats were left empty. We were afforded complimentary beverages, mine of the adult variety, and an excellent light meal. In these days of “enhanced security” it is a wonder that table service in First Class includes real metal utensils, including a knife. I guess that terrorists are relegated to Economy. The flight was unremarkable at just under 2 hours. The best was yet to come.

Our bags had been checked through to Minneapolis. So, except for the lingering uncertainty of another “rouge backpack” incident as was experienced at the start of our trip, we were unencumbered.

Non-European Union citizens were required to submit to passport verification, but otherwise proceeding to our next gate was seamless. With our First-Class tickets (one more time, yeah Christine!!) we qualified for entry into any one of the many exclusive Air France lounges which were located throughout the sprawling expanse of Charles De Gaulle Airport. Unfortunately, our layover was too short to take advantage of that perk.

The plane, this time operated by Delta, was being readied for the cross-Atlantic flight away from the terminals. We traveled by shuttle to the wide body plane’s remote location and boarded up a mobile stairway much as was done in the 1960’s and is still done for some dignitaries. Delta One customers (that was us) turned left upon entry, and the rest of the passengers, including “ordinary” First Class passengers went stage right.

Instead of seats, Delta One provides each passenger with a private “suite”.

There are real noise cancelling headphones, a comforter and pillow, slippers, a hand stitched (ours to keep) travel pouch containing toiletries and other small items to enhance comfort, a large screen (by airplane standards) television, and best of all a seat with power controls that adjust all the way from full upright to a fully extended bed. Our Airbus A330 had a total passenger capacity of 281. We were among the 29 who enjoyed the premium level of Delta One comfort and service. In surveying the other 27 passengers I wondered which might be celebrities, retired sports icons, or captains of industry. There were two that caught my eye, one with the eerily familiar face of a character actor and the other an older Black gentleman who was well over 6’6”.

As far as I was concerned, Michael was the real star of the flight. He was our personal assistant. Michael and his partner exclusively served the needs of the 29 Delta One passengers. He was polished in his manners and attentiveness much as one might expect the valet of royalty. “Another cocktail Sir?”… “Was the lamb prepared to your satisfaction?”… (I really ordered lamb)

Britton was in travel heaven! I remarked that he might not have a repeat of this travel experience for many, many years. “Yeah, like maybe never!” was his reply.

As special as all this was, we were still confined in a long metal tube along with 300+ passengers and crew, speeding across the Atlantic Ocean at over 500 miles per hour and nearly 8 miles over the surface of the Earth. If God had meant humans to fly… oh, never mind. I just wanted to get home to my wife and orthopedic physician, in that order.

The greeting at the airport was hurried but loving and welcome. Renee and her crew were heading to Florida in the morning by car. Within 24 hours Britton was transitioning from travel heaven to its equivalent in purgatory. He would have less than 8 hours of down time in over 48 hours of being “on the road”.  Poor guy!

My doctor’s appointment was accommodatingly scheduled for Monday. It went well. I now have appointments for an MRI, followed immediately by an epidural injection. These are the next steps in a conservative exploration of options. Additionally, I will be seeing my chiropractor and massage therapist this week.

In the next week I hope to put my thoughts and “pen” to work on writing a reflection of this extraordinary experience. I repeat, I am not disappointed with the outcome. Britton has repeatedly voiced his intention to return and finish what he and I started. He intends to include his mother and one or more siblings. They seem just as excited to be a part of his continuing pilgrimage as he is. In a Newtonian sense I have put Britton in motion, and an object in motion will remain in motion until otherwise acted upon. I can only hope that life does not interfere with his spirt of pilgrimage. That is out of my hands.

Love to you all. Peace. Pete

 

Denial and Acceptance. Burgos, Spain.

Posted on by Pete Schloss

Dear Christine, Renee’, Family, and Followers.

“ God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change…”

Some of you have sensed an undercurrent in my posts. Reading between the lines you have reached out to me to see if I am OK.

First of all, thank you for your concern. Secondly, I am not OK. I have done my best to put a publicly optimistic and positive spin on our experience. The brave front began crumbling more than a week ago. It collapsed about three days ago.

I reached out to Christine and Renee’ and told them that I could not go any further. The morning pain, leg spasms, and limitations on movement have become extreme. I have seen how it has become unsettling for Britton to see my struggle. One morning he voiced, “It’s getting worse isn’t it Grandpa. Are you going to have to have surgery?”

This is not just a matter of listening to my body, but also of being responsible for the care of my Grandson.

…”the courage to change the things I can…”

I have secured 1st class train tickets from Burgos to Barcelona. We depart Thursday afternoon for the 6 hour trip. We have a hotel room reserved at the airport. I was able to cancel our pre-arranged accommodations in Santiago and Barcelona without charge.

I was able to exchange out July 15th tickets to visit the Sagrada Familia for June 28th tickets. This despite the tickets originally being non-refundable and non-modifiable.

Christine was able to change our return flight from July to this weekend. Somehow she got us upgraded from Premium Select seats to 1st Class/Delta One. The seats make into beds. The upgrade cost… $35 for each of us. Christine is a magician.

…”and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

It has been said that with age comes wisdom. Perhaps. In my case with age comes a well used and occasionally abused spine. That is the price of a life well lived.

Pilgrimage in general and the Camino in particular is first and foremost a journey, not just a destination.

Britton and I have shared a remarkable time together, almost a month in France and Spain.

I have witnessed him rapidly grow into full partnership with me on the Camino. He and I have covered nearly 300km together. Most exciting for me is to hear him voice his desire and intention to return and complete the journey, perhaps with his Mother and one or more siblings. He has become a real Peregrino, a 15 year old Camino zealot.

I am at peace with my decision and I have no regrets. Everything that is truly important has been achieved. The seeds of pilgrimage have been planted. How they grow, how they mature, and what fruit is finally harvested are matters that were never in my hands.

Love to all of you. Peace. Pete.

Burgos, Day One

Posted on by Pete Schloss

Dear Christine and Renee’.

We arrived in Burgos yesterday, Tuesday.

The Hotel Norte y Londres is as convenient, comfortable, and welcoming as ever.

I have unhesitatingly recommended it to pilgrims along the way, a few of which have chosen to be guests here instead of lodging at one of the many albergues here in Burgos.

Burgos is a town where one should pause, rest, and reflect.

Teresa is still managing the hotel. She greeted me and welcomed Britton as if we were dear friends, perhaps even family.

She still remembers you and me from 2013 and me from 2022. I commented to Britton that it is amazing that someone would remember us from just a couple of brief encounters over the years. His reply, “No it isn’t”.

Teresa pulled a few strings and arranged for me to have a massage today.

After we checked in, I left Britton to shower, rest, and connect with his friends and his family. I gathered up the laundry and was off to a nearby laundromat.

We were past due for clean clothes.

Apparently one should not wash pets in the machines. 🤣

Monday and Tuesday have been very reminiscent of last days on the Camino. Christine, recall how often in the past we would turn a corner and virtually walk into dear people with whom we had made a deep connection.

On this Camino Britton has become his own person rather than walking in my shadow. He personally feels the momentary joy of these chance encounters, and upon parting the sadness of not knowing whether he will ever see these good people again.

The countries that these Camino friends represent include: The Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, France, New Zealand, Australia, the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Poland. There are others.

This is heady stuff for any adult let alone a 15-year-old.

Yesterday we toured the Cathedral.

.

The expression on Britton’s face said it all, awe inspiring. These few pictures hardly do the Cathedral justice.

Courtyard in the cloister 
Looking straight up at the main tower and the intricate stonework 
The treasury holds a seemingly endless collection of precious items. 
The main altar 
The crypt and final resting place of a long departed royal couple.
This chamber displays the portraits of every bishop in the Cathedral’s history 
The Golden staircase 

The Papamoscas clock. A mechanical automaton that moves at the hour and quarter hours

Witek and Kasia, our Camino friends from Poland, are also staying here at the hotel. Kasia is trying to work through painful tendon issues with her ankle. At the moment further progress for them on the Camino is an unknown.

We met them at the Cathedral for our tour and later for dinner at a highly regarded restaurant near the hotel.

Our plan had been to enjoy dining on the outdoor terrace, but thunderstorms drove us inside. The rain did not depreciate the evening experience with these wonderful people.

Seafood paella and wine 
Britton’s dessert, an ice cream float with some (perhaps high octane) orange juice. 

When dinner concluded they would not let me pay. The dinner was their treat and gift to our friendship.

They have spent significant time on the island of Malta. Their description and pictures are captivating. I think that you and I should explore this as a future destination, perhaps even meeting Witek and Kasia there!

As I write this, Britton is enjoying sleeping-in for the first time on this journey. I am enjoying writing this with the day yet to unfold rather than burning the midnight oil and shorting myself on needed sleep. It is still strange for me to imagine that while it is 8:30 in the morning here it is 1:30 AM in Kansas City.

I wish you restful sleep and sweet dreams. Love to you both. Peace. Dad

PS. Sarah at Ultreia Osteopatia y Acupuntura here in Burgos gave me a wonderful and pain relieving massage. Thank you Sarah and thank you Teresa for making the appointment for me!

Sarah.