Category: Family

The Highway of Purpose

Posted on by Pete Schloss

In August of 2014 Christine and I decided to retire from our professional lives. Our “exit dates” were set for the Spring of 2015. Planning went well, however I encountered an unexpected wall of anxiety at the prospect of losing my “purpose”. The following post is from May of that year and acknowledged the unknown to come:

May 23, 2015
Forty years ago I entered upon the highway of purpose. Early on the journey I slowed for the urban congestion of law school and then accelerated, merging into the lanes of profession and parenthood. I have grown comfortable with being on this journey of purpose, adapting to the rhythm of the mile markers of mail, bills, returning phone calls, and commitment to calendar. There were occasional vacation rest stops, and even the detours of adventure, but always the return to the highway of purpose.
Since last August I have become consciously aware that purpose is a journey and not a destination. The vista of my life path is not endless and to proceed in disregard of this reality is as reckless as to ignore a flashing yellow light. The thought of retirement has been unsettling but only because of the fear of loss of purpose.
These past few months have provided me with the opportunity to reexamine and reconsider my journey. Looking up from my road map I see a sign in the distance and it reads: “Reduce Speed and Prepare to Exit, New Purpose Ahead”.
It is time for a new map.

Peace. Pete Schloss

We Choose Our Priorities

Posted on by Pete Schloss

I was recently reminded of a series of events that occurred some years ago. These events present a lesson in how we view and act upon what is “really important”.

A school nurse was confronted with an emergency involving one of her students. The student (of divorced parents) had become seriously ill and was exhibiting respiratory distress secondary to a severe allergic reaction. The nurse administered first aid to stabilize the child and called for an ambulance. The nurse then called the child’s mother and informed her of the unfolding events. The ambulance arrived and the child was turned over to the care of the EMT’s who rushed to the hospital. The child responded well to the treatment and the episode would have ended there with a “they lived happily ever after” conclusion. Except…
The following day the child’s father arrived at school and asked to see the nurse. When he entered her office he unleashed a tirade upon her for her failure to call him. When he paused to take a breath the nurse interrupted to ask, “Sir, isn’t it enough that I responded efficiently and professionally to render aid to your child? Isn’t it enough that I stabilized her and called for emergency assistance? Isn’t it enough that you can still enjoy the company of your child and that a tragedy was averted?”
The Father continued his criticism of her failure to call him, never once expressing any gratitude for the life that she had protected. He concluded with the assertion that he intended to report her to the school authorities. She asked him to please do so, and the meeting ended.

We choose our priorities. The nurse chose to intervene and (possibly) save a life. The ambulance EMT’s chose to respond to the 911 call. The hospital emergency room staff chose to continue to minister to the needs of the child. Divorced or separated parents may choose not to notify each other of their child’s emergency. Finally, the father chose to criticize the nurse’s failure to call both parents, and he also chose to withhold gratitude.

What were the motivations behind each participant’s priorities in this bit of real life drama. What are the lessons to be learned? Just asking…

Peace! Pete (Originally posted July 15, 2014)

Have Fun, Do Good, and Be Safe.

Posted on by Pete Schloss

A very long time ago when my children were indeed children, I morbidly feared that there might come a day that I was separated from life but had neglected to say everything truly important to them. “I love you”, spoken at every parting did not really seem adequate. I pondered the question of what succinct message could deliver what was lacking in a casual “goodbye”.

My answer came in this form: “I love you” (of course!) and “Have Fun, Do Good, and Be Safe”. The 4 benedictions added after “I love you” seemed to capture the essence of my own life philosophy. Over the years I have said this so often to those who are dear to me that I am reasonably certain it will one day appear on a gravestone as my epitaph.

“Have Fun” is my recognition that whatever one does, it should in some manner feed the soul. Having fun is more than just laughing, it is that which sustains us and encourages us to keep going. It is found in our work, recreation, relationships, and accomplishments. How we engage ourselves to rise above the challenges that life casts in our way is also an aspect of “fun”, although not commonly considered so.

“Do Good”, is actually a 2 part invocation. Doing good is doing the best that one is able, expending one’s best efforts. It is also doing what is right. Doing good calls upon a conscious self-examination of “have I done my best, and have I honored my best in the values that I have come to know. It is a tall order, but it is certainly what I ask of my children and expect of myself. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I just need to try harder, which is also “doing good”.

Lastly, “Be Safe” is for the sake of those who love us. As we live, we should be mindful that we are not isolated strands of life, but an interwoven part of a vast living tapestry. The string of my life is connected to the strings of countless other lives. If I do not value my life then I do not value the lives of those who are touched by me. If my children are heedless of their own safety, then it brings anxiety into my life. It is an added dimension to the Golden Rule. Instead of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you”, it calls upon us to care for ourselves as we would ask those who we care for to do for themselves.

May you all Have Fun, Do Good, and Be Safe.
Peace! Pete (Originally posted July 11, 2014)

We Have Liftoff!!!

Posted on by Pete Schloss

Recently, I have been largely silent on social media, but not idle. For many weeks I have been designing and implementing a new website. This is the third time that I have undertaken this foreign task. My first effort, over 15 years ago, was little better than a few pages of “stick figures”. My second served me well for the last 10 years, but it was time to make a change that more accurately reflects the shift in our focus, post retirement. This new site will be my venue and “voice” both on and off the road, while Facebook will remain my primary outlet for displaying pictures to my FB friends.

The site is not yet in perfect harmony with my expectations, however it is better than 90% the way there. I have purchased a “real camera” that I hope to make extensive use of. I have not yet worked on posting images with my “Thoughts” site, but there will be time to work out those bugs so that a few select images may occasionally appear with my “Thoughts”.

Your encouragements have provided me with the motivation to dedicate hundreds (literally!) of hours into working on this. I hope that it serves Christine and me, and thus all of you as well. I invite you to use the tool that I have included on the site to sign up for email notices of future posts.

-Peace! Pete