Author: Pete Schloss

There Is No Forest Without the Trees

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

There is a saying, “He can’t see the forest for the trees!” It implies that one is unable to see the importance of the “big picture” because of a focus on the (less important) details. Applying that as a metaphor to the challenges in our COVID economy I offer that there is no “forest” (economy) without the “trees” (small business).

We have been at our vacation home in Colorado since shortly after Christmas attending to a myriad of projects while embracing “real winter” at 10,300 feet above sea level. 2 miles to the north of us is the town of Alma with Breckenridge a 20 minute drive over Hoosier Pass. 5 miles south of us lies Fairplay where the nearest services are found. Gas, Prather’s Grocery, Ace Hardware, Fairplay Auto Supply, just to name a few.

Fairplay (pop. 800) is the Park County seat of government, a geographically large county (2,211 sq mi) with a population of about 19,000.

As such this surprisingly small county seat features a surprising array of dining and beverage purveyors… some 20 in all. Among our favorites are South Park Brewing (of course!), Java Moose Coffee House and Deli, and Millonzi’s Restaurant.

A couple of nights ago I stopped by Millonzi’s to purchase a gift certificate. For reasons of COVID safety and our focus upon home projects Christine and I have been absent from the dine-in scene during our current stay. Groceries, outside coffee (32°f with still air and a bright sun is very pleasant!) and a near daily visit to Ace Hardware has defined us.

As I waited for the gift certificates I was struck by the adjustments made in Millonzi’s since we were here during warmer weather. The outside dining option that we had enjoyed was of course gone.

A bar that could have seated at least a dozen was arranged for 2 sets of distanced couples.

The tables were well spaced, easily reducing seating to less than a third of former capacity.

We elected to return the following night for an early drink and dinner.

Upon our return we were greeted as old friends and quickly learned that the meticulous attention to detail, the topflight service, and excellent food remained unchanged. No wonder that a film crew was on sight in September to film for a feature of “Restaurant Impossible” which will air on Discovery Plus on January 22nd, and the Food Network in February.

Frank at the bar made an exceptional Manhattan garnished with a candied Hibiscus for me and a perfect G&T for Christine. Dakota, who was to wait upon us later at table, shared her joy and expectation of coming motherhood while Krishna looked on and added to the natural feeling of a family reunion.

Inevitably, conversation turned to the impact of COVID upon them and Millonzi’s. The temperature of discourse became more serious by degrees. They were all making it, but the difficulties are very real. Millonzi’s has a good carryout trade, but the bread and butter for any restaurant and its staff are patrons at the bar and at table.

In addition to presenting us with an  excellent dining experience our evening gave us an insight into the economic pain of the pandemic at full magnification. We were staring at one “tree” instead of just hearing about the “forest” as part of a 2 minute national news update.

The trees are everywhere. They are favorite diversions for us in Kansas City such as Aixois, a neighborhood French restaurant, and the upscale modern American “Restaurant At 1900”.

Most folks have such favorites that are locally owned. These establishments do not have the same resources as regional and national “corporate” dining to weather this COVID storm. The storm will pass, however if our favorite “trees” are to survive it is incumbent upon us to care for them as we are able.

We left Millonzi’s with the warm glow of having enjoyed excellent food, drink, and a very satisfying evening attended to by a staff that cares. We also left with carryout dinners for the next day… got to take care of the trees.

Peace Everyone. Pete

Sharing Our Travels, Part 2: American’s Southwest and the Pacific Coast

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

Our post-retirement travels began in May 2015. For those first 3 years we focused most of our journeys on destinations in the United States and Canada with our 17’ Casita travel trailer in tow. We had set as our “mission” to visit at least 49 States and 8 of Canada’s Provinces. As it turned out, we exceeded the goal with time to spare.

I chronicled those wanderings in an earlier iteration of my website. Unfortunately, in upgrading my site those earlier 2015 -2018 blog posts are no longer available online. However, I did preserve much of the content and photographs in 12”x12” hardback “coffee table” books that I created for our children, grandchildren, and then surviving parents.

I am aware that many of you have vicariously enjoyed accompanying us on our journeys. It occurred to me that I might share with you portions of the books that I created. Currently there are five volumes which have over 1000 pages of narrative and photographs. Some of the content consists of my personal musings and “philosophies“. The PDF files for each volume are huge and make for a very difficult download. However, by focusing upon segments of our travels and eliminate most of my ruminations the files become much more manageable.

Part 1 (previously posted) consisted of content from our 6 week trip through New England and Canada’s Maritime Provinces in 2016.

Part 2 consists of content from travels in the American Southwest and Pacific Coast from 2017 and 2018.

Part 3 will consist of content from our 12 week journey through Alaska, Western Canada and the Yukon Territory.

Below is the link to Part 2. You may view online or download the file. The link will expire on March 31st. I hope that this provides you with some relief from the stresses of our current political climate and pandemic. Please note that the first 9 pages will be the same in each Part.
Peace Everyone. Pete

 

Link: American’s Southwest and the Pacific Coast

 

Sharing Our Travels, Part 1: New England and Canada‘s Maritime Provinces

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

Our post-retirement travels began in May 2015. For those first 3 years we focused most of our journeys on destinations in the United States and Canada with our 17’ Casita travel trailer in tow. We had set as our “mission” to visit at least 49 States and 8 of Canada’s Provinces. As it turned out, we exceeded the goal with time to spare.

I chronicled those wanderings in an earlier iteration of my website. Unfortunately, in upgrading my site those earlier 2015 -2018 blog posts are no longer available online. However, I did preserve much of the content and photographs in 12”x12” hardback “coffee table” books that I created for our children, grandchildren, and then surviving parents.

I am aware that many of you have vicariously enjoyed accompanying us on our journeys. It occurred to me that I might share with you portions of the books that I created. Currently there are five volumes which have over 1000 pages of narrative and photographs. Some of the content consists of my personal musings and “philosophies“. The PDF files for each volume are huge and make for a very difficult download. However, by focusing upon segments of our travels and eliminate most of my ruminations the files become much more manageable.

Part 1 consists of content from our 6 week trip through New England and Canada’s Maritime Provinces in 2016.

Part 2 will consist of content from travels in the American Southwest and Pacific Coast from 2017 and 2018.

Part 3 will consist of content from our 12 week journey through Alaska, Western Canada and the Yukon Territory.

Below is the link to Part 1. You may view online or download the file. The link will expire on March 31st. I hope that this provides you with some relief from the stresses of our current political climate and pandemic. Please note that the first 9 pages will be the same in each Part.
 
Peace Everyone. Pete

 

Link: New England and Canada’s Maritime Provinces

 

Gary Kretchmer, 1946 – 2020

Posted on by Pete Schloss

Gary Kretchmer was both a friend and a mentor. He closed his eyes for the last time on December 29, 2020. I have not yet read his obituary, but I am certain that when it is written it will, like so many others, celebrate the accomplishments of his life. What I hope is included is tribute to the impact that Gary will continue to have in the lives of thousands of men, women, and children for years to come.

Gary was a Mediator’s Mediator. He was adept at working as a Mediator for separated and divorced couples. His experience extended years before I learned that ”Mediation” was not “Meditation” misspelled. Over the 25 years of my Mediation practice I considered it a busy year if I worked with 300 couples. In his position as Director of the Mediation Program for Johnson County Kansas Court Services Gary likely worked with over 1,000 couples a year… often 4 couples in a single day, sometimes more. Day after workday he waded into the toxicity of couples in conflict, couples hurt, scared, couples cast into the role of litigants unable to effectively continue as parents. Gary was gifted at bringing peace to these Mothers and Fathers, moreover he salvaged “childhood” for tens of thousands of children caught in the vice of their parents’ conflict. Gary showed that there was light at the end of their tunnel

I first met Gary in the mid-1990’s, attending one of his trainings. I was immediately drawn to his calm and almost apostolic approach to communication in conflict. In that first encounter with Gary I learned that a Mediator could rarely make a misstep so long as the contributions were kept in the form of questions rather than statements. The Mediator acted as an interpreter between two people who found themselves either speaking over one another or speaking different “parenting languages”. Gary taught that the role of the Mediator was to provide a safe space for couples to craft their own resolutions. The Mediator teaches skills that empower folks to navigate their future. The Mediator is not a judge who makes decisions for them. As Gary would reflect, this is the difference between a Mediator (with a capital “M”) and a mediator. Gary was a deeply spiritual man who pursued his craft not so much as an occupation but as a calling. Much of whatever skill I developed came from lessons that I learned from him.

Beyond his work Gary was a consummate peacemaker and family man. He and his wife Sheryl were often guests at spiritual celebrations of other faith traditions. Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist… to Gary, God was God, regardless of the form of worship. Gary and Sheryl enjoyed an annual Christmas Eve tradition of lunch at Andre’s Restaurant in Kansas City that began in 1984 when they first began dating.

It was the highest form of praise that over the years Gary would repeatedly encourage me with the words, “Pete, you are doing God’s work”. In my last training I was honored to be a co-presenter with three other gifted Mediators, Hugh O’Donnell, Dawn Kuhlman, and of course Gary Kretchmer.

Although our paths rarely crossed after our respective retirements, I feel a personal loss at his passing. The Mediation community in Metropolitan Kansas City not to mention tens of thousands of men, women, and children have much to be thankful for due to this good man.

I am certain that Gary will Rest In Peace since he lived his entire life, in Peace.

Peace Everyone. Pete

Friends and “Unfriends“

Posted on by Pete Schloss

 

This past week a number of events seem to converge into a single message for me. Early in the week I hosted a video chat with a group of old friends. We came to learn that every one of our families have been touched by COVID-19. Fortunately with no fatalities. My daughter (a nurse) continues her recovery from the struggles of a COVID infection that occurred nearly a month ago. A younger (very athletic) friend had gone silent after indicating that he had become infected. I learned that he had landed in the ICU, struggling for his every breath. He very nearly fell over “the edge“. Thankfully, he is now on the road to recovery and has been transferred to a regular ward. One of his observations was the extreme stress carried upon the shoulders of the hospital staff. The hospital is over capacity with no end in sight.

Also this week I received communications from folks who persistently deny that COVID-19 is real. People who maintain a belief in some grand international conspiracy. I had enough, and on my Facebook account I “unfriended“ them. In my pique I shared these things with my Facebook community without identifying those who had been “unfriended“. I also added, “…did I miss anybody?“. My daughters applauded my actions, understanding how very reluctant I have been over the years to exercise the “unfriend” button. A couple of people took umbrage with my post and asked that they be “unfriended“ as well. Still others found sadness in these personal interactions. For reasons I will explain, I am not one of them.

I originally resisted joining Facebook. However, I found that I could learn more of the day-to-day events in my children and grandchildren’s lives through Facebook than I could in a telephone call or a discussion over coffee. I joined. Soon I had a fairly large Facebook community that showed interest in our family and our travels. In turn I have enjoyed glimpses into the lives of my friends as shared on FB.

Many of my dearest friendships predate Facebook. Many friends do not participate in Social Media. I do not measure friendship by one’s presence or absence in my Facebook community. Facebook is merely a convenient forum for sharing.

I received some private expressions of regret from others at what had transpired between “friends”. I have come to believe that while social media provides a convenient forum for social exchange there is a darker side. We have come to take too seriously being a “friend“ or an “unfriend“ on social media.

Friends often have disparate views in matters of politics, religion, and socioeconomics that do not threaten friendship. However, in the realm of social media those distinctions, especially when extreme, may rendered it inappropriate for there to be participation in one another’s social media communities. We choose who we invite to Thanksgiving dinner. We choose who attends graduations, weddings, and birthday celebrations. We choose who is on our Holiday card list. Most of the time no offense is taken by those who are omitted.

Friendships may be a reflection of our work, our neighborhoods, where we worship, together with when and where we went to school. Social media does not and should not determine our relationships. I merely invite you to consider your own view of Social Media friendship and “unfriendship“.

Peace to Everyone. Please stay Safe, Happy, and most of all Healthy in this Holiday Season. Pete

PS. Speaking of Holiday Cards: Disaster has again befalling me in my best efforts to send out cards! After handwriting and addressing over 500 cards… even including a $10 bill in each one to make up for the past years’ omissions, I placed the cards in the oven. I had thought it would be a harmless way to sterilize them and avoid any risk of virus transmission.

Unfortunately, I became distracted by doing the laundry, washing the dishes, scrubbing the floors and washing the windows. In my neglect the cards and their contents perished.
Oh well, perhaps better luck next year. Pete